To be clear I already have the oil cooler installed and working fine, I just want to relocate the filter. 
So you want to keep using a spin-on adapter with a pass through for the filter? Aka a sandwich plate?
That clearly doesn't work on LS's, for the exact reasons you already found ~ the oil filter will get demolished and you'll pop the motor.
You need a oil filter relocation kit that you can plumb a remote filter mount into. LPI racing sells the same ones I use, and I believe they're a site sponsor (I'm not, yet)
http://www.livermoreperformance.com/canton_oil_adapters.htmlI use the billet 90* adapter and the billet remote oil filter mount with 3/4-16" threads for my Amsoil EAO15 racing oil filters.